


If I never

by 4thofFive



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2194812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4thofFive/pseuds/4thofFive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is given the chance to see the consequences of his break up with Danny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a story idea I found online but I can't share it with you until the end or it will give it all away.
> 
> Thanks to Simplyn2deep for the help and the great idea for the ending.

Steve watched as the Camaro’s tail lights disappeared down the night-shrouded street. It had been a nice evening. They were all nice evenings when the team got together. Everyone relaxed and told jokes and ribbed each other lightly. They were friends, all of them, close friends. That’s all they would ever be. That’s all they could be. 

He and Danny…at one time they had been more. They had tried, sort of. Thought maybe they could make a relationship work. They even put some effort into it for a while. But they soon realized it wasn’t a great idea. People shouldn’t work together and be in a relationship. It was a recipe for disaster. Not to mention Danny’s fear of getting hurt again and Steve’s fear of long-term commitment. It was better this way, logical. This way no one would get badly hurt when it inevitably fell apart. End it now before it got too heavy. End it before hearts were involved. It had been a shared decision.

Steve switched off the outside light and threw the deadbolt on the front door. He moved quietly through the house shutting off lights and dropping beer bottles into the recycle bin before climbing the stairs to his room.

He stood in his darkened bedroom staring out the window to the ocean beyond. The moon was full and he could see the waves lapping gently onto his beach. His mouth curved into a smile as he remembered Kono dragging a bitching Danny into the surf, ignoring his protests about sharks and jellyfish. He and Chin had laughed as they always did at Danny’s antics. Most of Danny's protests were bluster but they always lightened the mood, gave Steve a fullness in his chest that he hadn’t experienced since his mom died.

The Commander pulled the curtains closed and moved over to the bed to switch on the table lamp. He looked down at the expansive king-sized bed with its perfect corners and crisply ironed sheets. Steve was a big man but he often felt small in the bed – alone. There was too much space for him to take up. There was too much space in his life for him to take up. When Danny had stayed with him, those couple of months they were trying to build a relationship, he’d felt his life taken up. Everything had been full – full of light and sound and movement. There were no more dark corners or hidden rooms. There was just Danny, filling space.

Steve sat down on the bed with a sigh, suddenly too tired to sleep.

It was the right decision he and Danny made. Neither of them could get past their fears. Neither of them could stop worrying about implications and reverberations and consequences. There were too many what-ifs. What was it Danny had said? ‘Neither responsible but both at fault.’ It didn’t mean that when he and Danny sat in the car trying to banter the way they used to or times like tonight when they accidentally touched hands then pulled away like they’d both been burned, it didn’t mean he couldn’t wish it had been different, that they had been different. 

Steve climbed to his feet again and began stripping off his clothes. They were both better off in the long run. Eventually the first awkwardness would pass and they would be even more certain they did the right thing. Ultimately their lives wouldn’t be ruined by the decision. They would go back to who and what they were before the night they had first kissed. They had changed everything that night and now they would just change it back. Easy.

Steve finished brushing his teeth and switched off the bathroom light. The room seemed a bit cold but he knew it wasn’t. He pulled back the covers and slid in between the cool sheets. He considered reading for a while but realized he wouldn’t be able to concentrate. He switched off the table lamp and lay in the darkness staring at the ceiling and listening to the sound of the ocean. The sound Danny claimed to hate so much. The sound they often muffled with their moans and cries or sometimes just their soft nighttime conversations. Steve had forgotten how loud the ocean could sound. 

He rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s not going to work you know.”

Steve knew he should probably be surprised to see Freddie sitting cross-legged on the end of his bed but he wasn’t. Such were his dreams.

Steve sighed and rolled onto his back shoving pillows behind himself to sit up against the headboard. He was used to Freddie visiting sometimes although usually his late best friend was covered in blood in the dreams

“What’s not going to work?”

“You and Danny.”

“Yes I know. That’s why we decided to end it.”

Freddie rolled his eyes.

“No, I mean you and Danny thinking that you can be happy without each other. It’s not going to work.”

Steve rubbed a weary hand over his face then scratched at the stubble on his chin for a moment.

“Freddie look, I know you mean well but…”

“Don’t just dismiss what I’m saying McGarrett,” Freddie interrupted. “Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean I don’t know things. I know plenty of things.”

“I’m sure you do but you know nothing about this.”

“I know it’s a mistake.”

“It’s not.”

“I know you’re going to regret it…bitterly.”

“Freddie,” Steve sighed sitting up a bit straighter against the headboard. “There are reasons, good, practical reasons why Danny and I can’t be together.”

“And the biggest reason is that you’re both cowards.”

Steve rolled his eyes and slid down the bed covering himself with the blanket and turning his back to his friend.

“Good night Freddie.”

“I can show you.”

Steve stayed quiet. He wasn’t going to indulge this stupid dream; best to ignore it.

“…show me what?”

“Why ending it with Danny is a mistake, a huge mistake.”

Steve pushed himself up on the mattress leaning his weight on his elbow. He gave Freddie a baleful look.

“And how will you show me that? Are you a psychic as well as a ghost?”

Freddie gave Steve a disgusted look.

“First of all I’m not a ghost I’m an apparition and second of all, I’m offering you the chance to see the long-term results of a stupid decision you made. Most people would jump at the chance.”

“Yes well, I’m not most people.”

Freddie snorted and shook his head.

“Tell me about it. Most people would have the guts to stay with the person they love instead of just letting them walk away.”

“Freddie…”

“Steve look, I’m a busy man. Do you want to see the results of your decision or not?”

Steve sighed and flopped back down on the mattress, arms stretched to his sides.

“Do I have to sleep walk or can we just do this as part of this current dream?”

Steve felt the mattress shift as Freddie climbed to his feet and leaned over the bed and scowl at him.

“Will you just relax for once in your life? Close your eyes.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a longer chapter this time.

See? Everything looks fine.”

Steve and Freddie stood in a corner of the bullpen and watched as the Five-0 team hovered around the tech table getting briefed on their current case.

“Do you and Danny look happy?”

Steve examined both of their faces. A couple of years had passed and Steve’s hair had much more grey in it and Danny’s hairline had receded to the point that he’d just given up and had his head shaved to a close crop. Beyond the surface looks there was sadness in the eyes of both men that Steve had never seen before. Diffidence too, like neither was entirely comfortable around the other but they were trying hard to pretend that nothing had changed. Steve shrugged and looked away trying to mask the sadness that washed over him.

“We've investigated some horrible cases over the years, it’s not surprising.”

Freddie gave Steve a pitying look but said nothing.

“OK, Chin you've got court so you’d better head out,” ordered Steve’s older counterpart. “Kono you have names and license plates to run. Danny and Lou can re-interview the witnesses and I’ll check with my Navy contacts to see if they have anything on this guy.”

Steve turned to look at Freddie in confusion.

“Danny and Lou?” 

“They're partners now. With Kono on desk duty because she's pregnant, you and Chin team up. When Kono comes back after having the baby, you will hire a replacement who will be your permanent partner.”

Steve chewed his bottom lip distractedly as he watched the team split up to accomplish their various assignments. He couldn't help but notice Steve and Danny barely looked at each other.

“But…Danny and I will still be friends won’t we? I won’t lose that?”

Freddie made a face and tipped his head from side to side.

“Yeah you’re still friends but you were never able to get back the easy camaraderie you had before your break up.”

Steve pressed his lips together and considered that for a moment.

“OK. Now that I know the future I’ll make sure this doesn't happen. Danny and I are still friends and are still professionals. I’ll make sure we maintain that.”

“Steve,” Freddie sighed sadly. “You broke each other’s hearts. You didn't mean to but that’s exactly what happened. Neither of your lives have been the same. You've never been as happy again.”

Steve stepped away from Freddie and wandered unseen around the future Five-0 offices.

“Well I’ll just have to work harder to preserve my relationship with Danny. I won’t let us drift apart.”

“Do you really think it will be that easy?”

Steve shrugged as he leaned over to examine the new tech table.

“Why not? It’s just a matter of being aware of what’s going on and keeping the lines of communications open.”

“You can’t plan a friendship the way you plan an op Steve.”

Both men were interrupted by Kono walking by and knocking on the door to Steve’s office. The Commander gestured for her to come in and Steve and Freddie followed.

“Anything, Kono?”

The Hawaiian officer shook her head and folded her hands over her growing baby bump. She appeared to be about six months along.

“Not yet. I’ve got the computer searching.”

Steve nodded and looked back down at the papers he had been reading. He looked up again, an eyebrow raised in question, when Kono didn't leave his office.

“Is there something else?”

“Steve I…I know it’s none of my business but if you need to talk…”

Steve gave the younger woman a confused look.

“Talk? About what?”

“Look, I know marriage can be hard, especially in the first year, so if there’s something happening and you need a sympathetic ear...”

The Commander sat back in his chair and laid his hands flat on the desktop and Steve, standing just to the side of the desk, noticed the flash of a gold wedding band on his future self’s left ring finger. He jerked his head up to stare at Freddie in shock.

“I’m married?”

“For eight months now.”

Steve looked back down at the ring and then up at Freddie again.

“But, Danny and I aren't…?”

Freddie shook his head.

“Cath came back 10 months ago and you got married two months later.”

Steve felt himself go cold.

“But I…I told Danny I wasn't sure I wanted a long-term commitment. I don’t understand how…?”

Freddie walked over and put his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“When Cath came back you fell back into a relationship. It was safe and comfortable. You knew what kind of life you were going to have with her. She wanted to get married and you agreed.”

Steve felt his stomach roil with apprehension.

“How did Danny take it?”

Freddie gave Steve a look that suggested his friend was an idiot.

“How do you think? It crushed him. He put up a good front, even served as your best man, but it devastated him.”

“Oh god,” Steve choked out turning away for a moment to face the window until he could get his emotions under control.

“Kono,” older Steve said quietly. “Everything is fine. We’re…everything is fine.”

“You haven’t looked very happy for a newlywed,” Kono continued not willing to be put off.

“It’s all good,” replied Steve standing up from behind the desk and walking over to the file cabinet. He pulled out a drawer and began digging through the old files as if searching for something. It was an obvious attempt at deflection.

“Steve I know that at first I wasn't overly supportive of your marriage to Cath. I thought you rushed into it and I didn't think that she was the person you really…” Kono flushed and cleared her throat before speaking again. “Well…I know you care about her and you are determined to make it work so if you need anyone to talk to, need any advice, I’m here. I know Adam and I have only been married 15 months so I’m not an expert but I’m still your friend and I care about you.”

Steve watched as his counterpart took a deep breath to tamp down his embarrassment at having such a personal conversation within the office. Finally the Commander turned away from the cabinet and gave the younger officer a somewhat forced smile.

“Thank you. Really. Thank you for caring. If I need advice I’ll come to you OK?” 

The Commander turned his attention back to the file cabinet in a clear sign of dismissal as Freddie nudged Steve.

“Close your eyes, Steve.”

“What? No I want to see more. What’s happening with Cath and me?”

“Close your eyes.”

Against his will, Steve closed his eyes then reopened them to find Freddie and himself sitting in the back of the Camaro. Danny was at the wheel and Grover sat in the passenger seat. Both men seemed lost in their own thoughts.

Finally Grover turned to look at Danny.

“You OK?” he prompted gently.

Danny had been so lost in his thoughts he jumped as if he’d forgotten his partner was in the car.

“What? Oh yeah. I’m fine.”

Grover observed his friend for a long moment. Danny, aware of being examined, kept his eyes glued to the road.

“You know you can always talk to me Danny. You know that right?”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks.” Danny paused for several seconds until his shoulders slumped and he sighed in resignation. “Pauline and I broke up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry partner.”

Danny nodded and shifted his gaze out of the side window for a moment.

“It was inevitable. Anytime I get close to someone they usually dump me.”

“Danny…” Grover admonished softly.

The detective flashed the older man a regretful smile.

“Sorry. Don’t mean to sound so full of self-pity it’s just…” Danny shook his head and turned his attention to the road again.

Grover reached over and gave his friend a squeeze on the shoulder.

“You’ll find someone.”

The detective shrugged.

“Doesn't matter. I either meet the wrong person or let the right person slip through my fingers. Maybe I’m meant to be alone. That won’t be so terrible. I still have Grace.”

“Oh God, Danny,” Steve whispered hoarsely from where he sat invisible in the back seat.

“As you know, the team was upset when you and Danny ended your relationship,” explained Freddie. “They had hoped you would come to your senses and get back together. Then Catherine returned to Hawaii and you married her.”

“But Danny,” Steve whispered, his eyes never leaving his best friend’s pale face. “He hasn't…?”

“Danny’s had had a series of relationships since you broke up but none of them worked out. The team is worried about his growing depression. On the other hand you aren't exactly behaving like a starry-eyed newlywed. The truth is you both made a mistake but since you are also both loyal to a fault, neither is willing to hurt Cath to fix that mistake.”

“I know it’s been tough, Danny,” Grover said from the front seat, “but you’re a good guy and you’ll find the right person. I know you will.”

Danny glanced over at the other man and gave him the saddest smile Steve had ever seen.

“I already had him Lou


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure about how well this chapter turned out but I hope you like it.

Steve opened his eyes again and found himself back in his office with his older self working at the computer. It looked like a couple more years had passed. A photo of Kono, Adam and what appeared to be a two-year-old girl sat on his desk next to other family pictures. He looked closely at his future self. He could see that while he was still in shape and would still be considered handsome, his face had taken on lines that Steve didn't think were completely about the work.

Both Steve’s looked up when Danny knocked on the office door and the Commander gestured for him to come in.

“Hey Danny, how is it going with the Simon case?”

Danny nodded as he sat in one of the office chairs in front of Steve’s desk.

“Good. We've presented a strong case to the Prosecuting Attorney. She’s pleased.”

Steve smiled proudly.

“Great. Good job on that by the way. I was worried when we had two cases at the same time but you and your team did excellent work.”

Danny favoured his boss with a small smile.

“Thanks Steve.”

“Why don’t you come over after work and have a beer with me? You haven’t been around for a while, not since Cath left.”

Steve looked over at Freddie curiously.

“What’s he talking about?”

“Cath rejoined the Navy. She’s been gone for two months.”

Steve shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face.

“Jesus I’m messing everything up.”

Freddie gave a one-shoulder shrug.

“Things haven’t been going so well for the two of you. She figured maybe time apart might help.”

Steve snorted and turned his attention back to his counterpart and Danny.

“I umm, I can’t Steve,” Danny replied quietly. “I promised Grace I would take her shopping today.”

The Commander nodded quickly as if it were no big deal that his friend was blowing him off again.

“Yeah, of course. No problem, maybe another time.”

Danny dropped his eyes to the floor.

“About that…I don’t think there will be another time.”

“What do you mean?”

Danny took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I’m tendering my resignation.”

“What? Why?”

“Rachel and Stan have a business opportunity in New York and they want to take it. Since Grace wants to go to NYU, it works out well.”

Steve slammed a hand down onto the desk top.

“They can’t do this. You have shared custody Danny. You can fight this.”

Danny gazed at his boss for a long moment.

“I don’t want to fight it,” he admitted softly. “I think this is a good time for me to go back to New Jersey. I’ll be close to my daughter without living in her pocket and…well there really isn’t anything for me here anymore.”

Steve swallowed hard. It was obvious Danny’s words had cut him to the core.

“We’re here Danny, your Ohana.”

Danny gave his boss a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

“Yes, I know but I need my actual family and I just…I need a new start Steve.”

The head of Five-0 dropped his eyes and folded his hands tightly on the desktop.

“Danny I…I wish we could…I don’t want you to go,” he choked out.

Watching from the corner of the room Steve could feel how difficult it was for his older self to show that vulnerability.

Danny swallowed convulsively and stood suddenly turning partially away from his boss.

“It’s the right thing to do…I have to do it. I can’t stay here any longer. There’s nothing left for me.”

Steve sat at his desk breathing unevenly for a moment before standing up and coming around the desk and wrapping his arms tightly around Danny. At first the blond man held himself rigid but within seconds he returned Steve’s embrace sinking heavily against the man he still loved.

“Danny…” Steve croaked harshly keeping his eyes squeezed shut against the threatening tears. “I’m so sorry. I wish…We should never have…”

“It’s ok, Steve,” Danny interrupted digging his fingers into Steve’s back as if to hold his friend as close as possible for as long as possible. “We both made the choice and now we have to live with it.”

Steve watched his counterpart cling fiercely to Danny as if for the last time. He blinked to clear the tears from his own eyes.

“What have I done?”

Steve turned to look at Freddie who was regarding him almost dispassionately. “What happens? Does Danny stay?”

Freddie gave Steve a dubious look.

“I’m not sure how much more I should show you.”

Steve held his hands out pleadingly.

“Please Freddie. I need to know. I need to see that Danny will be alright. Please.”

Freddie blew out a heavy breath and nodded once. 

“Close your eyes.”

Steve opened his eyes again in the front room of his own house. The wall colours were different and the furniture looked slightly more to Cath’s taste than his own, but essentially the place was unchanged. 

Freddie took a seat on the couch while Steve wandered around the room. On a side table was a photo of Cath, the insignia of a full commander on her uniform. Next to that was a photo of Mary and a girl who looked to be about six years old – little Joanie. He admired his niece with a smile for a moment before looking down the table to find a picture of a now fully grown Grace wearing a cap and gown. A smiling Danny stood beside her looking dapper in a charcoal grey suit. Steve bent down to examine the photo more closely. Danny was just as handsome but there was still something about him, a melancholy that Steve had never seen before. Steve straightened up and turned to look at Freddie who was watching him closely. 

“He left.”

Freddie nodded.

“Like he said, there was nothing for him here anymore.”

Steve glanced around the comfortable but stylishly decorated room. It was obviously an adult space.

“Cath and I never had children.”

Freddie shook his head and kept his eyes glued to Steve’s.

“Too busy with your own careers. Besides, I don’t think either of you wanted to bring a child into a relationship that wasn’t working. You’re ah, you’re separated now.”

Steve snorted in disgust and shook his head.

“I fucked up another relationship.”

He turned back to his examination of the photos on the table looking for more clues to his future. A slightly wrinkled piece of paper was being held in place under a photo of Cath and her now elderly parents. Steve tipped his head to read what was written on the page and gasped when he recognized the document. He swiveled to face Freddie.

“It’s a plane reservation to New Jersey.”

Steve grinned in relief.

“I’m going to New Jersey. I’m going to see Danno and tell him I love him,” he announced with firm conviction. “I knew it. I knew I wouldn't let him get away.”

“Steve…” Freddie replied softly, a note of warning in his tone.

Whatever Freddie was going to say was cut off when the doorbell rang. They could hear shuffling from upstairs before older Steve appeared at the top of the staircase and thumped down the steps, a toilet brush clutched in one hand. His passion for cleanliness had obviously never faded.

“Coming,” older Steve called out as he reached the bottom of the staircase and hurried to the front door. The Commander opened it and saw a pale-faced Chin standing outside. From his place at the opposite side of the room, Steve had a sense of foreboding at the look on the face of the older Hawaiian man.

“Chin? What’s wrong? I didn't expect you today,” the older version of Steve asked, opening the door wider.

As Steve watched, Chin, now in his early-50s with salt and pepper hair and a still-trim physique, stepped past his boss and into the house. The lieutenant stood in the middle of the room silently for a moment and Steve could see he was trembling.

Older Steve shut the door and turned to look at his friend anxiously.

“Is it Kono? The baby?”

Chin swallowed hard then turned to face his boss. He shook his head and took in a deep, shuddering breath.

“I just got a call from Grace,” he whispered, his voice strangled with suppressed emotion. “She wanted me to be the one to tell you.”

As Steve watched from the other side of the room his older self went pale and dropped his arms limply to his sides, the toilet brush clattering to the floor. He stared at Chin in wide-eyed horror, obviously already knowing what the older man would say.

“No.”

“Danny was,” Chin continued needing to get the words out before he choked on them. “He was responding lights and sirens to a bank robbery when…a delivery truck…the driver hadn't slept the night before and…”

“No!” Steve shouted shaking his head wildly and holding up his hands against Chin’s words. “No.”

Chin’s bottom lip began quivering and his eyes filled with tears.

“He’s dead, Steve.”

Like a marionette with its strings cut, Steve collapsed to the floor and let out a wail of pain and anguish. He slumped forward, his forehead pressed to the floor and began sobbing hysterically as Chin raced over and dropped to his knees next to his friend and enveloped him in his arm.

Invisible Steve stood staring at the scene in horror, tears coursing down his face. He turned to look at Freddie who was staring up at him without expression.

“Freddie, no,” Steve sobbed kneeling down next to the couch where his friend sat. “This can’t happen. You can’t let this happen. Please. Don’t let Danny die, please.”

Freddie reached out and gripped Steve’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry Steve. There’s nothing I can do. I can’t change the future.”

Steve snuffled loudly and wiped his hands over his face.

“He can’t die. He can’t die. Grace needs him. God damn it, I need him. I love him Freddie. Please don’t let him die. I can’t live without him. Please don’t let him die.”

Freddie stood and looked down on Steve with pity.

“I can’t change this Steve. I can’t fix it. This is your future.”

“No, Freddie, please!” Steve cried out, his voice barely audible over the gut wrenching wails of his counterpart who still sat slumped on the floor, fingers clutched in his hair while Chin rocked him gently.

As Freddie began walking away Steve hands scrabbled uselessly through the air trying to catch him, to stop him.

“Freddie!” Steve shouted. “Freddie!”

Steve sat bolt upright in his bed, his heart hammering in his chest, a sob catching in his throat. Throwing back the covers, he bolted out of the bed as if it were on fire. He slammed his back against the wall and stared at the rumpled bed in confusion for a moment. As his breathing began to slow Steve glanced around the room. Everything was the same. Nothing was different than it had been the night before. Even the glued together lamp that Danny had accidentally knocked over with his failing arms during a full-blown rant, was still standing on the far bedside table.

Steve barked out a half laugh and half sob when he realized he’d been dreaming. The dark haired man bent over limply, clutching his knees with his hands and pulling in slow, deep breaths. Jesus Christ it had all been so real. Steve shook his head to clear the cobwebs. He’d had some horrible fucking dreams in his life but this had been the worst. Pulling himself upright again Steve walked with shaky steps over to his nearby dresser and pulled out his swim trunks. He needed to get out of the house and throw himself into the warm embrace of the ocean and shake off the remnants of the dream.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is based on the following prompt. I’m not sure who left the prompt but I want to thank them for such a good idea.
> 
> http://whatifmcdanno.tumblr.com/post/93975699474/what-if-steve-traveled-to-the-future-and-saw-what

Steve drove to work an hour later still feeling shaken by his dream. The question was what to do about it? Should he run into the office and sweep Danny up in his arms and confess his love? Their breakup was a shared decision so it was very possible that Danny still wouldn’t want to get back together with him. Besides, how logical was it to base the most important decision of your life on a dream – no matter how vivid?

Steve stopped the Silverado at a red light and took his hands from the wheel to rub them over his face. He’d slept through the night but still felt exhausted and strangely emotionally wrung out. He accelerated on the green light and hit the right turn signal for the Five-0 parking lot. 

No, as much as he wanted to go in there and make a declaration to Danny, he knew the idea was stupid. If their relationship was meant to be it would happen. Better he should wait and see what developed.

Three days later Steve sat behind his desk and stared into Danny’s office across the bullpen. His partner was talking on the phone and seemed to be unaware he was being observed. Steve began gnawing on the end of his pen worriedly. Despite his decision to keep quiet about the dream and let things play out, he couldn’t help but be more acutely aware of the growing distance between Danny and himself. The detective was quieter and more likely to retreat into his office rather than kibbutz around the tech table with the rest of the team. Not to mention that he and Danny were still being oddly formal with each other. Oh sure Danny still ranted at him and made jokes about the army and Steve still lectured Danny about his eating habits and grabbed the Camaro keys from his hands, but their actions seemed forced now, like they were putting on a show for people – a show he felt certain those who loved them weren’t buying for a moment.

Steve looked over to the far wall of his own office to the picture of Freddie in his dress blues. His late best friend was smiling in the photo but Steve couldn’t help imagining he could see something in Freddie’s eyes that was warning him…the SEAL shook his head and slapped down his pen in disgust. Now he was starting to see messages from the great beyond. Jesus he should have been on the Oprah show.

He stood and gathered up a file he wanted Danny to look over for him. Maybe he’d drag his partner out for lunch and make sure they talked and laughed together like they used to.

Steve walked across the bullpen and gently pushed opened Danny’s office door not wanting to bother his friend while he was on the phone. He leaned forward and tossed the papers on Danny’s desk then froze when his partner spoke to whoever was on the phone.

“I think it’s a good idea Rach’,” Danny said into the phone, lifting his eyebrows in acknowledgement of Steve’s presence. “We always loved New York. It’s a good plan.”

Steve felt a wave of anger crash over him and he fisted his hands at his side. It was happening, just like in the dream. Danny was going to leave him.

“No fucking way!” Steve shouted suddenly causing Danny to jerk back in surprise and confusion. 

Steve stomped around Danny’s desk and ripped the phone from his partner’s grasp.

“Steven, what the fuck…?”

“You listen to me Rachel,” the dark-haired man growled into the phone. “Danny and Grace are not fucking moving to New York with you, do you understand?”

Danny leapt to his feet and grabbed for the phone but Steve stepped out of his reach causing the phone’s base to slide off the desk and dangle in mid air, the cord to the handset pulled taut.

“Danny and Grace are staying here with me. We love each other and we’re going to be a family. I’m not letting Danny go and if you try to take Grace I’ll sue your ass with everything I’ve got, you hear me?”

“Commander…” Rachel’s tinny-sounding voice tried to interrupt over the phone line.

“I was stupid enough to let him go once but that’s not happening again. I love him Rachel and we’re going to be together forever so…so… put that in your pipe and smoke it!” 

Steve grabbed the still swinging base of the phone and slammed the handset down onto it before dropping the entire unit back on Danny’s desk. He looked up at his friend who stood staring at him with an almost comical expression of open-mouthed shock.

“Danny, I…” 

“Have you finally gone completely insane?” Danny demanded his voice barely controlled. “What the hell was that all about?”

Steve folded his arms over his chest and stuck his chin out belligerently.

“It was time one of us did something to fix this huge mistake we made.”

Danny lifted his hands in confusion.

“Mistake? When did you decide this? We both talked about it and we both decided it was the right thing to do.”

Steve pressed his lips together mulishly and shrugged. 

“We did but we were wrong. I want us to be together – forever. I want you and Grace to move in with me – or we can buy a different house – and someday, soon, I want us to marry.”

Danny blinked slowly for a moment.

“Steve I don’t know what…”

Before Danny had the chance to reject him, Steve stepped forward and grabbed his partner by the biceps and pulled him close, their noses only inches apart.

“Danny, I love you. I want us to be together. I can’t live without you. I don’t want to. I know you’re scared, so am I, but we’ve never let fear stop us from doing anything and I don’t think we should let it now. I can’t promise everything will be perfect and we’ll always have smooth sailing but I can promise I’ll do everything I can to be a good husband and father and I will break my back to make sure I never hurt you. I promise. Will you please give us another try?”

Danny searched Steve’s face closely looking for any sign of hesitation. He apparently liked what he saw because he broke into a slow, happy smile and his eyes filled with tears. The blond man freed his arms enough to take Steve’s face in his hands.

“You’re an insane Neanderthal with the all the subtlety and social graces of a tank, but I love you anyway and I am never letting you go again.”

Steve let out a shuddering breath and pulled Danny tight against his body blinking rapidly to fight back tears. Danny wrapped his arms around Steve’s torso and buried his face in his lover’s chest and just breathed Steve.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Steve whispered, his voice choking with emotion. “I was so stupid.”

Danny nodded and tightened his arms around Steve.

“We both were.”

The two men held on for several more moments before moving apart just enough to look at each other. They laughed in embarrassment as they caught sight of each other’s red and blotched, tear-stained faces. 

Steve’s smile faded away and he swallowed thickly.

“Were you really going to go back to New York with Rachel?” he asked feeling a twinge of betrayal.

Danny’s eyebrows furrowed in momentary confusion before he chuckled and shook his head.

“Rachel’s parents are flying over from England and she was thinking of paying for them to spend a few days in New York. She wanted to know what I thought.”

Steve eyes widened as he remembered with horror what he’d shouted to Danny’s ex-wife.

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “I am in so much trouble.”

Danny nodded with glee.

“You really are,” he chirped happily.

“It’s not funny, Danno.”

Danny snickered cruelly and poked Steve in the chest.

“It kind of is. Usually I’m the one in shit with her. Now you’ll be on the receiving end. I picture a lot of groveling and chocolate buying in your future babe.”

Steve smiled and bent down to capture Danny’s mouth with his feeling the last weeks of loneliness, fear and indecision slip away. When breathing became a necessity again he rested his forehead against Danny’s.

“I’ll buy her a whole chocolate factory if I have to.”

Danny sighed happily and twisted his fingers in the front of Steve’s shirt and gave it a little tug.

“Let’s go home babe.”

Steve grinned and took Danny’s hand to pull him out of his office. The two stopped short when they were intercepted by a pissed off looking Kono who stood in the middle of the bullpen, fists on her hips, one foot tapping in annoyance on the floor. She glared at them both until she caught sight of their joined hands

“Well finally. I thought I was going to have to hit the two of you with a rock.”

Both men blushed and glanced at each other before looking back over at Kono.

“No rock is needed Kono,” Steve replied with a laugh.

“I would have done it you know!” she snarled, shaking an admonishing finger in both of their faces.

Danny snorted.

“Yes we know.”

After a moment Kono relaxed her stance and smiled at both of them.

“I’m glad for both of you. I wasn’t sure you’d ever get your heads out of your asses.”

Steve and Danny smiled at her then stepped forward to kiss her on the cheek.

“Thanks babe,” Danny responded gratefully. He cocked his head towards the door and Steve allowed himself to be dragged toward the exit. The dark-haired man stopped suddenly and looked back at Kono with a grin.

“Kono?”

The Hawaiian officer turned at the sound of her name.

“Yeah?”

“Your daughter is going to be very beautiful, just like her mom.”

Steve turned and followed Danny through the main office doors leaving Kono staring at him in confusion.

 

The end.


End file.
